How to Talk to Your Partner About Period Sex
Even some of the most sexually adventurous uterus owners can feel a little overwhelmed when it comes to period sex. This isn’t surprising, giving the taboo placed around periods and the ultra-squeamish nature of people who don’t have periods. But if you’re one of the many people who feels more frisky than usual when you’re bleeding (yes, this is a thing), you should be able to get it on, sans cringing from your S.O.
If your guy (or gal), isn’t thrilled with the idea of messy period sex it may be time to have “the talk” and give them the lowdown on why it’s so awesome. Because, really, having sex while on your period can give you some of the most powerful orgasms, ease your cramps, and even help shorten the length of your flow. Um, how is that not appealing?
Before you get down, though, have a conversation with your honey about doing the bloody deed. If you’re worried this is going to be #awkward, here are some tips to make it easier.
Treat period sex like it’s NBD
Even if your partner is not so sure about having period sex, don’t act like it’s a huge issue. The bigger deal you make about it, the more they will, too. Go to them (not right before showtime, ideally) and let them know that you’re in the mood and also on your period. Gauge their reaction—if they don’t seem phased by menstruation, go with it. But if they’re all “ew, blood”, let them know that you’re happy to answer any questions and would like to keep the option open. Talking about sex and periods can feel a bit taboo but the only way to make it not so is to actually have the conversations.
Give them the facts
Fear of doing something usually comes from a lack of knowledge about it. If your partner has objections to period sex, ask them what they are and then address them as best as you can. If you aren’t sure how to answer a question, do some research together. Here are a few resources that can help:
- 11 Things You Need to Know About Period Sex
- 6 Things You Should Know About Having Sex During Your Period
- 14 Men and Women Get Very, Very Real About Period Sex
Reading these helpful articles and doing your own research can give you info that could help make period sex seem way less weird.
Respect their decision
Whether or not you agree with your partner’s choice, it’s important that you honor it. Consent is key in any sexual encounter and it goes both ways. Even though you might feel like his or her lack of interest in period sex doesn’t make sense, it’s their choice to make. That being said, you can ask that the topic stays open for discussion or that you get intimate in other ways without actually having sex. Compromise and consent will go a long way in making you both more comfortable when it comes to period sex.
During your period, your cervix is slightly more open—this can put you at a higher risk for contracting a sexually transmitted infection. Yikes! Don’t sweat it too much. Just make sure that you practice safe sex and have your partner wear a condom (or you can wear a female condom if you prefer to be in control of that).
Also, despite a somewhat popular myth, you can get pregnant when you’re on your period. Sperm stays in your fallopian tubes for up to 72 hours. You’ll want to take precautions against pregnancy by using a condom and/or birth control (which really you should do at all times).
A few helpful hints
In order to have the best period sex experience possible, here are a few bonus tips:
- Ditch the lube — your period blood should be plenty of lubrication, without adding more
- Throw down a towel — you’re saving your bed from a potential mess and it’ll be easier to clean up afterward
- Have shower sex — speaking of easy clean up, the shower is a great place to have period sex (plus, it’s super hot)
- Don’t be afraid to go solo — look, if your partner just isn’t into period sex, that’s no reason you shouldn’t have some solo fun